You will not defeat me.
I have been a mom for almost 12 years now and I now your tricks. You will stand tall and smelly in my laundry room for days, taunting me. My kids will come to you in hopes of finding their favorite shirt all nice and clean and you will send them away in tears. You will silently and forcefully scream at me, telling me that I am a slob, and then you will topple over in maniacal laughter. As retribution for getting washed, you will hide in the machine for days until you are stinky yet again. I know your tricks.
Don't laugh, laundry pile. If you mildew, I will just wash you again. If you wrinkle due to neglect, I will fold you anyway and pretend not to notice. If you shrink in the dryer, I will just put you in the youngest kid's laundry basket. You cannot win.
Yes, I agree that you are a formidable foe. As soon as I turn my head you re-emerge with smiling stains glaring at me. But, I repeat...
You WILL NOT defeat me. I am a veteran. I have been ridding the world of scum like you for YEARS. I am not scared. This is MY HOUSE, Laundry Pile. MY HOUSE! I OWN YOU!!!
Your Arch Nemesis--
The Tired (but Resilient) Mom